So, today I want to chat with you about being alone. About walking this Christian life without the benefit of a few close friends that you share your joys and your hopes with. Or when life’s challenges hit, having someone that you can go to for comfort and advice. Those you can call at a moment’s notice and they’re there for you.
Our Christian walk was never meant to be done alone. Throughout scripture, God talks to us about having fellowship with other believers. He also warns us that we're actually in some pretty dangerous territory when we try to do it on our own, without anyone to walk beside us.
If this isn’t you and you have close friends, stick around because there is something here for you as well.
Sometimes I look around my church during the service and I see women that I don’t know or only seem to see on Sunday mornings. Since I attend a fairly small church, they’re kind of easy to spot. When the service is over, many of them get up and leave before anyone has a chance to have a conversation with them.
And I wonder, do they feel alone? Do they think that if others really knew them no one would like them? Have they convinced themselves they don’t need anybody else?
Are you one of these women? Do you. . .
Attend church without saying a word to anyone and no one knows who you are?
Do you see others chatting and wish you could have close Christian friends, but it just doesn’t seem to happen for you?
Are you friendly at church and talk with others but it’s all a bit superficial and you’re alone the rest of the week?
Or maybe because of some past experience, or you just haven’t taken the time to find one, you don’t attend church at all.
At various times in my life, I have done all of these things. But I also know what it is like to have a close church family who truly knows me and loves me. To walk into a church and it feels like home.
When my kids we small we attended a church like this. There were families that my husband, kids and I were all close to and we hung out together regularly. When a crisis arose, someone was in need or there was something to be celebrated, we were there for one another. I can’t tell you how many times I called on these dear sisters in Christ to pray with me and for me when things got hard or what a joy it was to celebrate life with them.
But life changes, people move, we moved, and it just wasn’t the same anymore. When something happened in my life that I wanted to share or needed to talk through with a close friend, I didn’t feel that there was anyone there for me anymore. I felt alone.
I knew this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be or how I wanted it to be. I also knew that it wasn’t going to change on its own. I needed to be the one to step out and do something different.
One Anothers
As I said, our Christian walk was never meant to be done alone. There are many references to “one another” and fellowship in the Bible.
To care for one another,
pray for and with one other,
to bear one another's burdens, and
to rejoice with one another.
We are to be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving, confess our sins to one another, and love and fear God together.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
Romans 12:15
“And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it;
or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”
I Corinthians 12:26
This requires us to be close to one another. To share our lives and be willing to open up to each other.
There are benefits to this that I’m sure you can see but there are also dangers if we do not have people we can lean on when the challenges of life or temptation hit.
The Dangers
In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, God describes for us the value of a friend and the dangers of not having any. Listen to what He says
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
In these verses, He is clearly telling us not to walk this Christian life alone and shows us the dangers of doing so. If we continue in our walk alone and do not take the time to build a relationship with others, who will we turn to. . .
~ When we need encouragement to press on
~ When we are overwhelmed by life
~ When we face temptations
~ When we are fearful or hurting
~ When we have questions about how to live out our faith
~ Or when we just need to talk about our everyday struggles and concerns
Who will be there to encourage us and help us to stay strong in our faith? Who will lift us up and pray with us and for us when life gets hard? Without this 3 fold cord of faithful friends, we are more apt to fall into temptation, be discouraged by circumstances, and head down a path that leads us away from God.
Great Examples
Moses, Aaron, and Miriam are a great example of three people that God brought together to accomplish the huge task of leading the Israelites. Each had their own gifts and talents. They leaned on each other when times were difficult, prayed for one another, and rejoiced together when God blessed them.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, now this is one of my favorites. I can only imagine how this story of faithfulness might have turned out differently had they not faced it together.
In case you're unaware, these three men were faced with the decision to either denounce God by worshipping the gods of king Nebuchadnezzar and his golden image or be thrown into the fiery furnace to be burned to death.
The three stood strong knowing that God could save them if He wanted to, but even if He didn’t, they would rather die than betray their Lord. The men were bound and thrown into the burning furnace but they were not burned. Instead, God met them in the midst of the fire and when King Nebuchadnezzar saw 4 men standing in the fire, he was amazed.
He called Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego out of the flames and saw for himself that they were neither burned nor even smelled like smoke, for God had saved them.
In Daniel 3:28 King Nebuchadnezzar says;
“Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, who sent His Angel and delivered His servants who trusted in Him”.
These three men were able to stand strong in their faith because they did it together!
Our Heavenly Father, in His tender love and care, has even provided an example from my own life for me to share with you. Recently, while sitting in the waiting room during a minor surgical procedure, I was passing the time by working on this post, when a text came that said.
Praying for you🙏❤️
My dear friend was letting me know that I was not alone and she was thinking and praying for me. This is what it is all about!
So now we know this is not just something that we want in our lives, but that God planned for us to have it because we need it. The only thing is, how do we do it? How do we find people that we can be close to and build relationships with?
Be Intentional
So of course, first pray. Pray for God to guide you to those people that He wants in your life. Pray for Him to give you the boldness to walk up to someone and say hello. Trust me, He has them all picked out already, you just need to step out in faith and meet them.
Here are some ways ~
Attend a bible study, preferably a women’s study if one is available
Attend Sunday school
Participate in the various activities at church ~ name some
Become a part of a ministry where you are working with others
Go to the women’s retreat! Can seem scary, but well worth
If you do not attend church at all, pray and find one.
When you go to one of these events, be intentional about getting to know people. Ask them questions about themselves and get to know who they are. Be willing to share a little about yourself as well.
Then, invite someone to go out for lunch or coffee, to go shopping with you or maybe to a concert or women’s conference.
In our women’s group at church, we have prayer partners. This year my prayer partner is a lovely young woman by the name of Victoria. She has been absolutely amazing and quite intentional about getting to know me and what my prayer needs are. She regularly sets up times for us to meet and text me in between times to see how I’m doing. I have been so blessed by our conversations together and getting to know her. She is an example that we would all do well to follow.
For those who are blessed with close friends
I told you there would be something here for you as well. Here it is. Ask God to show you the women in your church who are alone and in need of a good friend. Seek them out and get to know them.
Introduce yourself and say hello, I promise they won’t bite.
Invite them to Sunday school, bible study, or some other church event
Offer to pick them up so you can go together
Invite them for coffee or lunch to get to know them
If you find they have a need, see if you or someone you know can help with it.
If you and your friends are getting together, invite someone new. There is always room for one more.
It Takes Time
It may take a little time and the enemy will be there to discourage you but persevere. We moved to Texas 4 years ago and started attending Heritage Baptist Church about 6 months later. From that very first Sunday, people welcomed us and were genuinely glad that we were there. They let us know of the Sunday school classes and fellowship events that were happening and invited us to participate.
I made it a point to attend these events and to get to know the ladies in the church. Because of this, God has blessed me with some dear friends and a church family I know I can call on if need be.
Not too long ago, we missed church a few Sundays in a row due to traveling and illness. The Sunday we returned, I distinctly remember looking around the sanctuary after the service was over, as I breathed a sigh of contentment I said to myself, it feels like home.
God’s Word reminds us;
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
In this life, we will face trials, setbacks, and discouragements, but God shows us that with Him and with our sisters in Christ, we can be more than conquers. As we are entwined together we become that threefold cord that cannot be quickly broken and when we do, He uses us for His glory.
Girl, I’m saying this in the nicest way possible; it’s time to put your big girl panties on and get to know your sisters in Christ. God wants to change your life!
If this has blessed you or encouraged you to step out in faith and get to know your sisters in Christ, then please let me know in the comments. I want to pray for you for God to open doors to new long lasting meaningful friendships. There are new and exciting things coming soon, be sure to subscribe so you won't miss out. 🌷