Becoming the Godly Wife You Want To Be

 

We often enter marriage believing we’ve found our “happily ever after,” only to discover that real life doesn’t always match the fairytales. As the daily challenges set in, the initial bliss can fade, leaving us unsure how to navigate this new reality. We long for the loving, godly marriage described in scripture, but aren’t always sure what that looks like or how to achieve it.

 

I remember feeling the same way, wanting to honor God, my husband, and my family, but not knowing how. What changed everything for me was turning to God’s Word, letting it guide me, and allowing God to reshape my heart and thinking. Over time, He transformed me and my marriage into something more beautiful than I ever imagined.

 

If you’re feeling lost or unsure, I’m here to help you start your journey to becoming the godly wife you want to be.

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God’s Word as Our Guide

 

With so many books, podcasts, and seminars out there, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by advice on marriage. But when it comes to knowing what truly works, we need to remember who created marriage in the first place, God Himself. He is the true expert, and His Word is our ultimate guide.

 

Genesis 2:18 tells us,

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“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make him a helper comparable to him."

 

As wives, we were created to be our husband’s helpmate. Not above him, not below him, but right alongside him, building our family together.

 

A few verses later, we read, “Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man… Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:22, 24). God designed marriage as a beautiful union, and throughout scripture, He gives us wisdom for how to live it out.

 

If God is the expert, why would we look anywhere else for guidance? His Word is the one true source for learning how to be a godly wife and have a loving, successful marriage.

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The Lifelong Journey of Sanctification

 

Becoming a godly wife isn’t something we achieve overnight. It’s a lifelong journey, a process of God molding and shaping us into the women He created us to be. This process is called sanctification.

 

Romans 12:2 instructs us,

 

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,

that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

 

 

The world has its own ideas about marriage and womanhood, but God calls us to be transformed by His truth.

 

This transformation requires intentionality. Just like learning a new skill or craft, growing as a godly wife takes effort and commitment. We need to be in God’s Word regularly, treating it as our textbook for life. Even reading a chapter a day or spending a few minutes each morning in scripture can make a profound difference.

 

And remember, this journey is unique for each of us. No two wives or marriages will look exactly the same. God has a special plan just for you and your family.

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The Holy Spirit: Our Teacher and Helper

 

Thankfully, we’re not left to figure this out on our own. God has given you the Holy Spirit to teach you and guide you into all truth

 

Thankfully, we're not left to figure this out on our own. God has given you the Holy Spirit to teach you and guide you into all that is the truth. In John 14:26, Jesus Himself gives you this promise.

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"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,

He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

 

The Holy Spirit has a lesson plan if you will for each of one us, shaping us to be more like Christ. He also works in your husband's life, so while yes it is good to occasionally encourage him, it is best to trust the Spirit to do the work in his heart.

 

The best thing you can do for your marriage is to allow the Holy Spirit to begin a change in you. Instead of focusing on how you would like your husband to change, focus on what God wants to do in your own heart.

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Learning and Applying God’s Wisdom

 

It’s not enough to just learn biblical principles, we must also apply them. Joshua 1:8 reminds us,

 

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth,

but you shall meditate in it day and night,

that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it.

For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

 

Knowledge without application is useless. We need to let God’s Word change us from the inside out. Sometimes this means doing things that go against what you’ve been taught or what feels comfortable. But I can tell you from experience, following God’s wisdom always leads to blessing.

 

Here are a few practical ways for what this looks like in everyday life:

• Being generous ~ giving freely, even when it’s hard.

• Loving your enemy ~ showing kindness, even when your husband isn’t at his best.

• Being submissive ~ choosing to follow your husband’s lead, even when you disagree.

• Not worrying ~ trusting God with your finances, children, and marriage.

• Respecting your husband ~ not because he’s earned it, but out of obedience to God.

• Forgiving ~ letting go of hurt, even if the other person isn’t sorry.

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Taking the Next Step

 

You have a choice: you can do the hard work of growing, or you can stay right where you are. Only you can choose to use God’s Word as your guide, allow the Holy Spirit to renew your mind, and apply His wisdom to change your life.

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If you're thinking, I would love to but my husband isn't a spiritual leader, won't attend counseling, thinks our marriage is fine, or fill in the blank, remember this one thing. As believers, we will each stand before Christ to give an account for every word, behavior, action, and response. You will not have the opportunity to say, but my husband, ______. 

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Each of us is responsible for our own walk with Christ, despite what anyone else, even our husband, does or does not do.

 

If you’re ready to take that step, I have a couple of ways to get you started.

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• Download the free study guide on biblical marriage and what it means to be a submissive wife. It’s a great place to start, whether you’re new to these ideas or just need a refresher.

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• Listen to the Faith Lived Out Podcast for weekly episodes on God's design for marriage and how to become a submissive wife.

 

• Join us at a Likeminded Wives Gathering. We meet every 2nd & 4th Tuesday on Zoom, to share ideas and support one another as we learn together how to be a godly wife.

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Remember, this is a journey, not a sprint. But as you walk with God, He will shape you into the godly wife you long to be, and bless your marriage in ways you never imagined.

 

Have a blessed day,

Nanci 🌷

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